Used to be that when someone wanted to be a Tough Guy they had to actually have some muscles and skill...you know, to chase someone down and stomp a mud hole into them.
Now, thanks to technology! YOU TOO can be a Tough Guy! That's right! All 5' 2" 365 pounds of you can be a Tough Guy! Here's how to do it, in 3 easy steps (and the first two are no-tech)...
- Get yourself a blue blazer from somewhere...preferably with some sort of crest or emblem on the front. Doesn't matter what the crest says, as no one actually looks at it.
- Get yourself a pair of black or mirrored sunglasses- any kind where when you have them on, others can't see where you are looking.
- Now the tech part- go to Radio Shack (or order via some web site) one of those earplug thingies that has the coiled cord. VERY IMPORTANT- it MUST have the coiled cord, not a straight cord, otherwise the Tough Guy illusion will be competely BUSTED. The coiled-cord earpiece is the CRUCIAL component of the modern Tough Guy persona. This earpiece is what makes YOU an official TOUGH GUY!