Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Things That Make You Go... UGG!

Bag pullers. I'm not talking about the wheeled suitcases we all have to use once-in-a-while for travel. I'm talking about the silly briefcase looking things that have wheels and pull handles. And probably have about 6 ounces of paper in them. And are typically pulled by power bitches or smug pompous looking wussified Westport white men. They always seem to be getting in peoples' way with these obnoxious things too, whether it's blocking aisles, stairways, or taking up space in elevators (preventing people who really need the elevator from getting in).

And speaking of wussified Westport white men... you see them all the time on the train too. Those balding, fat men who step into the train like they own the damn thing, oozing arrogance and "look-at-me". So they have a couple million stashed and live in some hoitey-toity town. Now they think they are actually "rich". They get on the train and start playing their routine...let's put our wet umbrella and obnoxious coffee sippee cup in the aisle. Let's put our roller bag (with it's dirty wheels) on a seat, or leave it in the aisle too. Let's now take off our suit jacket and carefully fold it and place it on a seat or rack. All of this occurring while other people are waiting to pass in the aisle, of course. Now let's sit down (cramming people who are already sitting there) and move on to origami handling of a New York Times/Wall Street Journal while also typing on the ubiquitous Crackberry. And of course, when we leave the train, we leave behind our empty coffee cup and our crumpled up newspaper.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

YOUR Rights....

Not sure who to credit for this great cartoon. I can't make out the name in the corner. But this says it all.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Marshal Music for Our Friend

Here's some appropriate "marshal music" to play when our pal Ahmadinejad is approaching:

That is all. Carry on.


So do the illegal aliens behind the counter at the local bagel joint keep screwing up peoples' orders because:
1) they really don't understand English
2) they are truly stupid people
3) they love fucking with the gringos

While my inner racist wants to go with answer #2, I think more often than not it is actually #3. And because we're a bunch of wussies who are afraid to be accused of being racists, we'll keep going back to the same joint, and keep smiling at the illegals, pretending that they are indeed doing a great job that "no one else wants to do", and we'll enjoy our whole wheat bagels with lox spread, when we actually ordered a garlic bagel with a shmear of scallion cream cheese.

BTW- I hate the word "shmear". Although I don't know of a better English equivalent.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

"More Scenes We'd Like to See"

Borrowing a title from Mad magazine...



Religion of Peace...

My Ass.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Daily Pointless...

California Students Sent Home for Wearing U.S. Flags on Cinco de Mayo

"The five students -- ... -- were then told they must turn their T-shirts inside-out or be sent home, though it would not be considered a suspension. Rodriguez [the assistant principal] told the students he did not want any fights to break out between Mexican-American students celebrating their heritage and those wearing American flags."

"More than 100 students were spotted wearing the colors of the Mexican flag -- red, white and green -- as they left school, including some who had the flag painted on their faces or arms"

"Freshman Laura Ponce, who had a Mexican flag painted on her face and chest, told the Morgan Hill Times that Cinco de Mayo is the "only day" Mexican-American students can show their national pride."

National pride huh? How is it national pride to celebrate the holiday of a foreign country's independance after you have CHOSEN to leave that country and move to the U.S.A.? Once you CHOOSE to move to the U.S.A., whether legally or not, you are no longer of that nationallity. You are not Polish, Russian, Italian, French, or whatever. You have chosen to become U.S. American. You are still obviously a specific race or ethnicity (i.e. Hispanic or Black etc.). I mean, think about why- why would you be "proud" to celibrate that you were born in some shithole?

No offense intended- but you obviously came to the USA cause it's better than what you left. Otherwise, why did you come? Are you just dumb or something?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The MuthaFuggin Saga Continues...

So a month or so ago the keeper-of-the-testes (aka spouse) shows me a brochure for some interesting looking classes/lectures. I say good, let's sign up. Ok, she says, she'll take care of it.

Ah, you see it coming?

Yeah, of course she didn't sign up. Now, they want a lot more money at the door since we missed the "pre-registration". So, she says, since she got the babysitter set up, why don't we just go out for ice cream or something. OK, says I.

Ah, you see it coming?

I get home from work and ask "What time is the babysitter due"?

Ah, you see it coming?

Oh, I never confirmed with her she says.

Well, can you call and ask, or do you actually know for certain she's not coming. "She would have been here by now" she says. Do you want me to call her now and see if she's available for an hour? No, don't go through all that trouble I says. So she says "ok, I'm going to BJ's to get some frozen chicken".

Then I realize one of my kids is missing... he went to ride his bike around the block and never came back around. Twenty minutes later we find him around the corner in someones back yard (some people we never met before) playing on a trampoline.

So not only do I not get the interesting class, but no ice cream. And worry about a kid for 20 minutes. And she goes to get frozen chicken.

Hmmm... seems like I married a frozen chicken.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Daily Pointless...

eBay Watchers of "Buy It Now"

What exactly is the point of being a "watcher" of a "Buy It Now" item on eBay? What the HELL are you waiting for?!?

Pretty Toilet Water

So I wander into the lavatory facilities at my office this morning, and quickly notice the pleasant flowery aroma, and the pretty blue coloring in the toilet water.

Too bad it's all offset by the DISGUSTING, FOUL SHIT SPLATS still stuck to the bowl- that have been there for a WEEK. And YES, I complained to the building management. And the result was flowery smelling blue water- with shit splats.
Hell, even "Scrubbing Bubbles" cleaning spray don't actually scrub off splats- you actually have to use a scrub brush, which of course takes about, hmmm.... 30 seconds?

Heaven forfend the turd world excuse for a "cleaning crew" could actually be taught about modern, civilized concepts like "hygeine" and germ theory... you know, those things that have been around for, oh, A HUNDRED YEARS.

Which is why most turd worlders continue to be turd worlders, in 2010. And will still be turd worlders in 2011.
And why management that is afraid to properly train, supervise, and discipline dreck workers will continue to end up with dreck everywhere.

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Daily Pointlessness...

Express Lines Never Are.... (and why "self-checkout" usually SUCKS)

Did you ever notice that so-called express lines at stores usually aren't anywhere near "express"? They're often the slowest lines in the checkout area. Why? Stupidity. Laziness. Incompetence. Selfishness. Take your pick- one or more of the above. The "cash only" line always has some moax that plays the "oh, I thought a check counted as cash" game. The "12 items or less" line always has the biddy with 112 cans of cat food playing the "but it IS only 1 item" game. And of course the pussified clerk always let's the scammers get away with it instead of saying "take your got-damn 112 TV dinners and go to the regular line (cats my ass)".

And of course the check writer always decides after everything has been scanned, rung up, bagged, and placed in a cart that it is now time to start rummaging through the portable junk yard hanging off her shoulder for the check book. And then has to practice that perfect 6th grade penmanship that takes 10 minutes to sign your name. And of course "oh, I forget my check privilege card at home, but I shop here all the time".

And don't get me started on those God forsaken "U-Scam" self checkout disasters. First of all, it's quite obvious someone's brother-in-law got the contract to install these decrepit, pathetic excuses for modern machinery. Said brother-in-law finally figured out how to unload all those old 386 and 486 computers he had stashed in his garage. He builds ticket dispensing machines and self checkout lanes with them. I don't need the frakking thing TALKING to SPANISH! I know what the hell I'm scanning. I don't need it announced to the entire store that I'm buying a tube of Preparation-H for FIVE FORTY NINE. Why the hell does this POS have to talk? So blind people can use it? SO make a braille button they can push to make it talk- have talkin off by default. The time it takes for this clockwork computer to announce "two dollars eighty seven cents" I could have scanned five more items. And when the barcode is unreadable because some worthless employee couldn't be bothered to change the ink in the label printer, or decided to put a sticker over the barcode, or decided to wrap the barcode label around some curved edge so that the barcode is now curved, twisted, or wrinkled- that item should be FREE. Let the store handle it's own fuck ups. Don't make me waste yet another 10 minutes in the "express line" waiting for some screw-up of an employee to come over and "correct" the item.

One more thing- I think one should have to pass a test and get a license before being allowed anywhere near checkout machines. That goes for customers as well as the store employees. When I've got 12 cans of the same item, don't scan the things one at-a-time, scan one can and hit the "X 12" buttons on the keyboard and be done with it, dammit. Especially when you have trouble getting the blind-ass scratched up smeared glass laser to try and scan the code properly.

If I have to waste another 20 minutes behind another geezer and/or foreigner who can't figure out how to use the self-checkout, and who insists on being allowed to buy 4 items on a coupon that clearly states "only 2 per customer", some killin' is gonna start.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Yet Another Reason to MAKE STUFF IN THE USA

The Chinese thieves are already selling knockoffs of a PROTOTYPE of a Dell gadget that has not even been released yet. Do we really need to keep seeing these reasons to bring manufacturing BACK TO THE USA???

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Jedi Mind Ticks Don't Work On The NO Minded...


For YEARS I've been trying to warn people that all these computerized gizmos are INFUSED with SATANIC EVIL.... but people chuckled and shook their heads...

NOW, FINALLY, I have PROOF... look at the picture- it shows the output from a Cisco 4900M Switch I am using at a datacenter... notice the line that begins with "Darkside Revision 0". What the F is "Darkside Revision"?!? Never mind that "Jawa Revision" or "Tatooine Revision". It's this DARKSIDE stuff that worries me.

(yes, this is real. Good to see that Cisco still seems to employ some (most-likely) American programmers who are Star Wars fans).

Monday, January 25, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Daily Pointlessness...

SO about 2 years ago we had a problem with the sewer line between our house and the street. It was clogged and it is our responsibility. So we hired a plumber to snake it out. His snake went out and got caught on a "belly" or "dip" in the pipe. Although he cleared the clog, he suggested sending a camera down the line to see if the pipe was damaged.

Not wanting to spend $500 for the guy to send a camera down the line, I bought insurance that covered the line (about $80/year) and left it at that.

So here we are and now we have what looks like sand and mud coming up out of a basement drain. Now it looks like the pipe may have finally cracked. I call the insurance company and find out that our coverage for this lapsed a few months ago and wasn't renewed.

She did it to me again. She pays the bills. The password on the Quicken account is hers. All she has to do was open the mail, type in the bill in Quicken, and set it for payment (automatically via our bank/Quicken link). But instead, the bill got tossed in a mix. And is now gone. Along with probably $5,000 to do this repair (they'll have to tear up the yard with a backhoe).

Oh well- there's another $5,000 we won't be able to use for a vacation. Or school. Or anything else fun or important.

I bought a bottle of Tums yesterday. First time in years I've needed it.

And I've had a headache for over a week.

The fun never ends.

UPDATE: Have to replace the line all the way to the city sewer tie-in... cost is closer to $10,000 now. It never ends. Truly.