Friday, July 17, 2009

The Daily Pointlessness...

Endless Mystery List: The Female Mind

I'm convinced that eons past the point where the male mind has been completely unraveled, decoded, poked, prodded, probed into submission, and then stuffed in a jar to sit on a musty shelf in a university basement, scientists will still be having fistfights over where to start in their attempts to decode the FEMALE mind. Take this mystery for instance: SHORT SKIRTS.

Why? WHY?? WHY on EARTH do women wear short skirts (above the knee) only to have to subject themselves to what must be unbearable knee-locked discomfort (possibly hours on the train) in their attempts to keep some geezer from climbing the mountaintop and eyeballing their holy land? For God's sake, if you don't want anyone peeping your panties, either a) wear a longer skirt, or 2) wear some got damned pants. If, on the other hand, you have some weird voyeuristic streak and get off on showing off your netherlands, then email the details to me at once, so that I may be the judge as to whether or not you do indeed have a prize worthy pudenda.


  1. I would venture that very few pudendas (pudendae?) will hold up to close scruitny. Perhaps a reminder of the evolutionary origin of said orifice will serve: reptiles, birds, and monotremes have a single multi-purpose opening called a cloaca, Latin for "sewer", out of which waste products, reproductive material, and urine pour. Mammals have gone one rung up the evolutionary ladder in that mammals have separated the solid waste processing from the urine and reproductive functions, which remain combined.
    In other words, they're all a skanky hole just one step removed from a sewer.

  2. Mighty Omega- *shudder* at what you said! Reminds me of the story of the guy that finds his old friend has become a groinacologist (sorry, Archie Bunker)... so the guy says wow! You have the greatest job! And said groinacologist points out that women come to him for various disorders and prolapses and infections... which make "things" look even more gnarly and stinky than usual!