Friday, September 4, 2009

Can You See This?

There are those who would argue that philosophically speaking, my blog is invisible since it seems to have a readership of one (including me). But I'm not here to talk philosphy right now. I'm here to talk about reality. Real invisibility. Yes, I can PROVE to you that invisibility is REAL.

Just come over to my house...pretty much any time. Bring some garbage- it can be a pastry or candy wrapper, a cereal box, packaging from something, dirty tissues, cat food, or even something like wet, mildewy towels or beach clothes. Then- toss these items about, on the floor or on the couch, and stand back and watch the magic happen. It will happen one of two ways:

1) At some point, between the time the object leaves your hand, and the point where it should impact with the couch or floor, the object will just vanish completely, right before your eyes.


2) The objects will NOT vanish- at least for you. But either stand back for a few minutes and observe, or come back the next day. What you will witness is that the objects have obviously become COMPLETELY INVISIBLE to all OTHER inhabitants of the house, as they will remain exactly where you dropped them, until such time as you or I come along and clean them up. Yes, that half-eaten Snack Cake will remain on the floor moldering and festering until it is either consumed entirely by insects or rodents, or until I clean it up.

I have spent almost 10 years trying to determine why I am the only member of my household that has the ability to see these invisible objects. Alas, I have still not been able to procure or invent something that will give my wife this gift of "seeing" that I have, so perhaps she could utilize some of her time at home all day (probably bored out of her skull with nothing to do) to remove these items so I don't have to when I get home from work.

The freakiest thing of all is that I myself seem to spend most of my time in some sort of state of invisibility. This is a phenomenon that has apparently been occurring to me most of my life, as my dear departed brother pointed out one time about 15 years he observed the effects of the phenomenon first hand. It seems he had the ability to see me when others couldn't. We went to some store one day to price some expensive electronic item- stereo components or something. I was gainfully employed, and wearing decent professional clothes (i.e. dress shirt and pants and shoes). Bro' was dressed like a bum... hair all askew, old t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. And he was unemployed. Yet when a saleswoman approached us, I was in my state of invisibility to her, as she literally reached her hand across my face (brushing my nose with her arm) to shake hands with my brother, while facing and addressing him, utterly oblivious to my presence.

And so, I continue to be almost run over or shoved aside on a regular basis, whether it's when trying to climb stairs or use an escalator in a public place, go through a doorway, enter an elevator, enter or exit a subway or train, or just walk down the street. There are a few people out there who wonder what the hell hit them, I'm sure...

Of course, it's not all bad being invisible. I've never been mugged. Thank God.

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