Heh.

You may be a Taliban if:

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

(Don't know who to credit for this one...got it in an email chain)

The Daily Pointlessness...

NC Teens get cash to not get pregnant...

"A dollar a day keeps the babies away.

That's the incentive behind College Bound Sisters, a program at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro that aims to keep 12- to 18-year-old girls in school and baby-free.

Girls in the program attend 90-minute meetings every week at which they receive lessons in abstinence and the use of contraceptives — and they receive $7 every week they do not get pregnant. The money is deposited into a fund that's collectible when they enroll in college."

DAMN. Somebody owes me $2,190. I never got pregnant between 12 and 18, and I stayed in school.

The only problem is that if these girls stay in school and learn some economics, they'll have to weigh the choice of getting $365/year to not get pregnant versus the $90/month or so average child benefit from welfare... and as someone in the article points out- should we pay for every bad behavior someone doesn't engage in? Like pay kids not to smoke pot, get drunk, or steal?

Bribery is so much easier than actually raising kids properly with morals and values...

Shiite Market Bombing Kills 69 In Baghdad

I don't get it. So "they" hate us (USA that is). They are "resisting" our "occupation". So they murder more of their fellow countrymen in a week than the US Military has killed in a year. In Iraq. In Afghanistan. In Pakistan. In India. In the Phillipines. In Sudan. In Somalia. Etc. Etc. Oh, waitaminit...US troops aren't in the last 5 places I mentioned.

Of course, if they want US troops out, wouldn't it be "smart" to lay low and not attack anyone for a while, so that the world can see there is "peace", and then US troops will pull out, announcing "mission accomplished...uh...again...". Then, with US troops gone, they can go to town- and blow it up.

8 NYC Children Burned in Acid Attack

"Tension" among neighbors... fools who have to get up in the morning for silly nonsense like school and work don't like "noise" after midnight? Obviously, them joooos must be racialists for not being sensitive to other "cultures" and "cultural behavior". Let's throw acid bombs at the jooo kids...that'll help them learn real quick how to respect other "cultures".

Chivalry IS dead...MURDERED by...

When I was a kid, my parents taught me things like giving up a seat for a woman or older person (or someone who seems to need to sit more than I do), holding doors for people, pushing the revolving door...stuff that used to be considered the "polite" and "correct" way to behave.

Now of course people don't expect anyone to hold doors for them or do these kinds of decent things, so when I attempt to do so, usually I don't have time before the person runs through another door or shove the door themselves. And of course nowadays, if you offer a seat on a bus or train to a woman she'll pull out the Mace- acting like the only reason you're speaking to her is because you want to rape her.

So what happened??? How did it get this way? It's called "Feminism". Women (or must I now spell it "womyn"?) demanded to be treated as "equals" to men. They demanded to have "careers" like men. They think of the role of staying home and raising children with proper senses of morals and values is best left in the hands of some third world maid who barely speaks English, and may very well have children who are in prison.

So I say- fine. You wanna look like a man by putting on the ugly "power suit", cutting your hair short, firing up a cigar, stalking the boardroom yelling at subordinates, and building buns of steel on the stairclimber (oh wait, I don't think too many men do that last one)- go ahead and do it. It's your right. And your obnoxious cell-phone-yakking power ass can stand for the 2 hour train ride home, bitch.

Mmmmm.....Barbie....

Heh.

The Daily Pointlessness...

I forgot the novel I was reading on the train at my office last night, so this morning I figured I would just buy a newspaper. And of course, for the first time in 2 years I've been departing from this particular station, ALL of the newspaper machines still had yesterday's papers or were empty. It never ends. And it's always the little things that kill you.

The Daily Pointlessness...

Mugging Victim Gets 15 to Life For Good Samaritan's Death

Bad enough to get mugged in the first place... but to then accidentally kill someone who's trying to help you...and now the mugging victim goes to prison...probably will get killed there...

How To Be A REAL Tough Guy!

Used to be that when someone wanted to be a Tough Guy they had to actually have some muscles and skill...you know, to chase someone down and stomp a mud hole into them.

Now, thanks to technology! YOU TOO can be a Tough Guy! That's right! All 5' 2" 365 pounds of you can be a Tough Guy! Here's how to do it, in 3 easy steps (and the first two are no-tech)...

1. Get yourself a blue blazer from somewhere...preferably with some sort of crest or emblem on the front. Doesn't matter what the crest says, as no one actually looks at it.
2. Get yourself a pair of black or mirrored sunglasses- any kind where when you have them on, others can't see where you are looking.
3. Now the tech part- go to Radio Shack (or order via some web site) one of those earplug thingies that has the coiled cord. VERY IMPORTANT- it MUST have the coiled cord, not a straight cord, otherwise the Tough Guy illusion will be competely BUSTED. The coiled-cord earpiece is the CRUCIAL component of the modern Tough Guy persona. This earpiece is what makes YOU an official TOUGH GUY!

Now that you are officially a Tough Guy, you are ready to find yourself an exciting and rewarding career in security enforcement, doing Important things like: chasing away skateboard punks, preventing IT geeks from trying to sneak handtrucks through the lobby, and apprehending old people who attempt to enter the elevator without showing their visitor passes. And most important of all- you get to eyeball all the purty people from behind your dark shades, without them being wise to you.