The Daily Pointlessness...

Dick Shaped Helmets, Capes, Obscene Architecture in Star Wars....

OK, so why do the helmets (that we are often forced by law to wear or have our children wear) have to be shaped like penises (penii???)? Is it so junior can shave 1/10th of a second off his downhill coast time in the "Training Wheel Olympics", due to the "aerodynamic" shape? Or is it just because some pervert designed the ugly things?

And speaking of organ shaped helmets- what the hell was up with the designer of Darth Vader's outfit? I mean, the useless capes of Darth and Lando could be tolerated as some fashion statement of a long-ago time period, in a galaxy that is far, far away...but that damn queer looking helmet on Vader? Who designed the whole Vader outfit- the Emperor?? The same guy who designed C3P0 as a flamer? The only fear the Darth Vader helmet strikes in me is that Vader will want to show me his "saber", and I ain't talkin' bout the one made of light...

And segueing smoothly from helmets to Star Wars- come on, I know I'm not the ONLY one to have noticed that the buildings in "Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones" look like giant vaginas. The oddest thing is that I've scoured Goolge and Bing looking for a picture to prove this, and haven't been able to find a single picture of these buildings...hmmm....is Lucas hiding something?!? Who designed this set art- H.R. Giger???

Daily Good News For Once!

Bear kills moozloom terrorists in Kashmir....

Heh. So for all we know, Osama Bin La-dee-da may have been bear food years ago...

Daily Dumb Asses

Iowa Police Arrest Burglary Suspects Who Allegedly Used Permanent Marker to Disguise Faces.

The Daily Pointlessness...

TRAFFIC CONTROL DEVICES...

Traffic lights, stop signs, orange cones, "Jersey" barricades... all these devices (as well as the laws regarding their obeisance) are ostensibly put in place to serve one purpose and one purpose ONLY. Regardless of what Sheriff Taylor over in Buddfugg County thinks, they are not revenue generators. They are for the purpose of safety. That's it. Traffic control laws and devices are supposed to be in place to keep people safe. And in order to legally drive in this country, one must pass both a written and physical driving test, demonstrating knowledge of what such devices and laws mean...i.e. if you don't know what the 8 sided red sign with the word "STOP" in the middle is for, you shouldn't be driving. You probably shouldn't be allowed out in public either.

So why does it seem like so many people have no clue whatsoever as to what a blinking red light means? Every morning while I await my bus, I observe the nearby intersection, with it's 4 way blinking red lights (the lights resume normal cycles at 6AM). And everyday I see not only stupid assholes (including school buses and oil tanker trucks) who fly through the intersection without even slowing down, but I also see the truly selfish ignorant assdrippings who drive on the shoulder to go around the silly fool who has actually stopped to obey the red light. I am awaiting the day, which I know is coming soon, where a tanker trunk and church van full of nuns have their fateful meet at that intersection. If I had a fully charged phaser bank at my disposal, that intersection would be littered with flaming remains of these selfish miscreants. Of course, if I had a phaser bank at my disposal, and used it to dispatch all the selfish, lazy, mean ignoramuses, the world would be a hell of a lot less populous.

Now what we really need to do is ramp up 'Green production.

The Daily Pointlessness...

So why don't I post every day? Cause... I accept that this blog, with it's readership of 1 or 2, is essentially.... pointless.

The Daily Pointlessness...

Every morning I watch as some old person shuffles decrepitly down the aisle on the train, cane in one hand, roller bag handle in the other. I'm talking people in their 70's. And I think- dammit, am I gonna have to be rolling my decrepit ass to work every morning when I'm in my 70's? Is that what I have to look forward to?

But then I realize- these people always seem to be well dressed, and get on at places like Westport, CT or Darien, CT, some of the most affluent towns in the U.S.A. Most likely, they are NOT going to work because they need the money. The only reason their shuffling to work every day instead of playing shuffle board down South is because either a: they're afraid that "retiring" will somehow just cause them to keel over dead, or b: greed.

All I know is that when I'm 70, the only work I want to be doing will be on my model railroad.

And BTW- when my hearing goes, I will not pretend that everyone else mumbles. I'll get the damn hearing aid.

My Life On A Sound Stage

During those times I am not invisible I am certain that I live within a giant sound stage. The evidence points to me being the star of something like "The Truman Show". Time and time again I happen to be minding my own business, moving along, when I come upon people who are just stopped- frozen- in the middle of my path. And right as I am about to go around them, they suddenly come to life, and start moving (in my way of course), as if the hidden director in the sky called out "ACTION" into their hidden earpieces.

The weirdest thing is that it's always some old bag, or cripple or someone who just oozes along real slow, when I'm in a hurry. If they waited only 5 seconds more before becoming re-animated, I would have passed them...