Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Daily Pointlessness...


Dick Shaped Helmets, Capes, Obscene Architecture in Star Wars....

OK, so why do the helmets (that we are often forced by law to wear or have our children wear) have to be shaped like penises (penii???)? Is it so junior can shave 1/10th of a second off his downhill coast time in the "Training Wheel Olympics", due to the "aerodynamic" shape? Or is it just because some pervert designed the ugly things?

And speaking of organ shaped helmets- what the hell was up with the designer of Darth Vader's outfit? I mean, the useless capes of Darth and Lando could be tolerated as some fashion statement of a long-ago time period, in a galaxy that is far, far away...but that damn queer looking helmet on Vader? Who designed the whole Vader outfit- the Emperor?? The same guy who designed C3P0 as a flamer? The only fear the Darth Vader helmet strikes in me is that Vader will want to show me his "saber", and I ain't talkin' bout the one made of light...

And segueing smoothly from helmets to Star Wars- come on, I know I'm not the ONLY one to have noticed that the buildings in "Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones" look like giant vaginas. The oddest thing is that I've scoured Goolge and Bing looking for a picture to prove this, and haven't been able to find a single picture of these buildings...hmmm....is Lucas hiding something?!? Who designed this set art- H.R. Giger???

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