Things That Make You Go... UGG!

Bag pullers. I'm not talking about the wheeled suitcases we all have to use once-in-a-while for travel. I'm talking about the silly briefcase looking things that have wheels and pull handles. And probably have about 6 ounces of paper in them. And are typically pulled by power bitches or smug pompous looking wussified Westport white men. They always seem to be getting in peoples' way with these obnoxious things too, whether it's blocking aisles, stairways, or taking up space in elevators (preventing people who really need the elevator from getting in).

And speaking of wussified Westport white men... you see them all the time on the train too. Those balding, fat men who step into the train like they own the damn thing, oozing arrogance and "look-at-me". So they have a couple million stashed and live in some hoitey-toity town. Now they think they are actually "rich". They get on the train and start playing their routine...let's put our wet umbrella and obnoxious coffee sippee cup in the aisle. Let's put our roller bag (with it's dirty wheels) on a seat, or leave it in the aisle too. Let's now take off our suit jacket and carefully fold it and place it on a seat or rack. All of this occurring while other people are waiting to pass in the aisle, of course. Now let's sit down (cramming people who are already sitting there) and move on to origami handling of a New York Times/Wall Street Journal while also typing on the ubiquitous Crackberry. And of course, when we leave the train, we leave behind our empty coffee cup and our crumpled up newspaper.

YOUR Rights....

Not sure who to credit for this great cartoon. I can't make out the name in the corner. But this says it all.

Marshal Music for Our Friend

Here's some appropriate "marshal music" to play when our pal Ahmadinejad is approaching:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoolQUDWq-k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25DC6v8oPxo

That is all. Carry on.

Sucka!

So do the illegal aliens behind the counter at the local bagel joint keep screwing up peoples' orders because:
1) they really don't understand English
2) they are truly stupid people
3) they love fucking with the gringos

While my inner racist wants to go with answer #2, I think more often than not it is actually #3. And because we're a bunch of wussies who are afraid to be accused of being racists, we'll keep going back to the same joint, and keep smiling at the illegals, pretending that they are indeed doing a great job that "no one else wants to do", and we'll enjoy our whole wheat bagels with lox spread, when we actually ordered a garlic bagel with a shmear of scallion cream cheese.

BTW- I hate the word "shmear". Although I don't know of a better English equivalent.

"More Scenes We'd Like to See"

Borrowing a title from Mad magazine...

Heh.

ROPMA.

Religion of Peace...


My Ass.

The Daily Pointless...

California Students Sent Home for Wearing U.S. Flags on Cinco de Mayo

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/05/06/california-students-sent-home-wearing-flags-cinco-mayo/

"The five students -- ... -- were then told they must turn their T-shirts inside-out or be sent home, though it would not be considered a suspension. Rodriguez [the assistant principal] told the students he did not want any fights to break out between Mexican-American students celebrating their heritage and those wearing American flags."

"More than 100 students were spotted wearing the colors of the Mexican flag -- red, white and green -- as they left school, including some who had the flag painted on their faces or arms"

"Freshman Laura Ponce, who had a Mexican flag painted on her face and chest, told the Morgan Hill Times that Cinco de Mayo is the "only day" Mexican-American students can show their national pride."

National pride huh? How is it national pride to celebrate the holiday of a foreign country's independance after you have CHOSEN to leave that country and move to the U.S.A.? Once you CHOOSE to move to the U.S.A., whether legally or not, you are no longer of that nationallity. You are not Polish, Russian, Italian, French, or whatever. You have chosen to become U.S. American. You are still obviously a specific race or ethnicity (i.e. Hispanic or Black etc.). I mean, think about why- why would you be "proud" to celibrate that you were born in some shithole?

No offense intended- but you obviously came to the USA cause it's better than what you left. Otherwise, why did you come? Are you just dumb or something?

The MuthaFuggin Saga Continues...

So a month or so ago the keeper-of-the-testes (aka spouse) shows me a brochure for some interesting looking classes/lectures. I say good, let's sign up. Ok, she says, she'll take care of it.

Ah, you see it coming?

Yeah, of course she didn't sign up. Now, they want a lot more money at the door since we missed the "pre-registration". So, she says, since she got the babysitter set up, why don't we just go out for ice cream or something. OK, says I.

Ah, you see it coming?

I get home from work and ask "What time is the babysitter due"?

Ah, you see it coming?

Oh, I never confirmed with her she says.

Well, can you call and ask, or do you actually know for certain she's not coming. "She would have been here by now" she says. Do you want me to call her now and see if she's available for an hour? No, don't go through all that trouble I says. So she says "ok, I'm going to BJ's to get some frozen chicken".

Then I realize one of my kids is missing... he went to ride his bike around the block and never came back around. Twenty minutes later we find him around the corner in someones back yard (some people we never met before) playing on a trampoline.

So not only do I not get the interesting class, but no ice cream. And worry about a kid for 20 minutes. And she goes to get frozen chicken.

Hmmm... seems like I married a frozen chicken.